A story of intimacy, persistence, and the small rituals that sustain new parenthood.
Meet Julie & baby Sami — a new mother navigating premature birth, early struggles with tubes and pumps, and finding her own mix of instinct, support, and a little family ritual called ‘mamoo-monday’.
Julie Lou is the host and co-founder of The Female Effect, a podcast that amplifies women’s voices and celebrates the impact of women uplifting one another. Every other Thursday, Julie welcomes inspiring guests to share their journeys, talents, and the ways they are driving meaningful change in their communities and beyond. Known for its thoughtful and empowering conversations, the podcast has been recognized by Podcastprisen as one of the top up-and-coming shows and is featured on Apple Podcasts’ Discover. Notable guests include MØ, Emma Holten, and Susanne Holzweiler.
Do you remember the very first moment with Sami?
Oh yes. He was placed straight on my chest, and he started rooting right away. I’d actually expected it to feel sticky, bloody and overwhelming. But instead he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I sat there in this post-labor haze, holding his tiny hand in mine, just thinking: “Wow, this is it.” Everyone talks about the “magical hour,” but I didn’t understand it until I lived it. For us, it really was magical.
Feeding didn’t start off smoothly, right?
Not at all. Breastfeeding is a wild journey, hard, teachable, worth it. He was three weeks early, and the whole suck–swallow–breathe coordination wasn’t fully there yet. That meant tube feeding. The thought of it was horrible, a little tube going down his nose into his stomach, but in reality it kept him fed and growing and gave me time to get my milk going.
I pumped like crazy even though it hurt like hell. I’ll never forget the first time I collected three tiny drops of colostrum with a pipette. It felt ridiculous and precious at the same time. From there, things slowly built up. By day three my milk came in, my breasts felt like coconuts, and here was this tiny baby with an equally tiny mouth trying to latch. It was painful, frustrating, and honestly scary to think, “What if we never figure this out?” The first three weeks were brutal. After about a month, it started easing, and today it feels natural. But wow breastfeeding really is a wild ride.
What kind of support helped you get through that?
Honestly, the seven days in hospital saved us. Having midwives checking in daily, showing me new positions, adjusting his latch, telling me “this is normal” that was huge. And when he got his feeding tube, we asked specifically for a neonatal nurse, because they do it so often. That helped my anxiety around it a lot.
At home now we’ve created ‘Mamoo-monday’ [meaning; Moms brother in Urdu]. Every Monday my brothers come over for two hours so my partner and I can have a break or a date. That routine has been gold. They bottle-feed him with the caramma-support-bottle, play with him and just take over. It’s become a ritual that makes us all closer.
You introduced the Caramma Support Bottle pretty early on. Why?
Before Sami was born, I’d bought the bottle because I loved the idea of tech that supports equal roles without killing breastfeeding. On the ward, my husband and brothers even watched the how-to video in the little hospital kitchen before trying it. The nurses were curious too, especially about the way it reduces air intake and works in breastfeeding positions.
The first time Sami took expressed milk from it, he did great. I actually cried when I saw his dad feeding him. Part of me was scared of losing that special intimacy, but I realized we weren’t losing anything, we were adding options. I could pump, freeze milk, thaw it in two minutes, and suddenly we had freedom. I could train, go to a meeting, even see Ed Sheeran in concert. And he still nurses with me like always. For me, it isn’t stepping away from breastfeeding; it’s sharing its closeness.
(And yes, I discovered I have one very “milk-giving” side. My friend calls it the “takeaway boob,” which makes me laugh because it’s true - every mom probably has one!)
What surprised you most about becoming a mom?
How natural it felt, but also how much I could still be myself. I have a lot of projects and energy, so I promised myself I wouldn’t hide away at home. I take him to events in the sling, I let people help, and I keep challenging the little anxious voice that says, “Don’t risk it.”
I’ve realized I don’t have to separate my professional and personal self. They blend. And it’s important to me to show that’s possible. That motherhood doesn’t have to put women on pause.
If you could give one piece of advice to other parents, what would it be?
Let go of perfection and just practice. If you feel anxious, try small things, a short outing, letting a friend feed the baby, being okay if it’s messy. Then try again next week. Babies learn, parents learn. And build your village. Whether it’s brothers, grandparents, or friends - let them in. You’re already doing something brave. Don’t do it alone if you don’t have to. Share the connection <3
At Caramma, we celebrate the first hour, the first drops, and the everyday rituals that make feeding a shared, sustainable act of love. Julie’s story shows that options don’t weaken intimacy — they protect it.